


First and Last

by tuzitokki



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Angst, First Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 01:39:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12201336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuzitokki/pseuds/tuzitokki
Summary: "Remember, Yeol? It snowed the day you said you loved me."It also snowed on the day he left.





	1. on the snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenpai/gifts).



> Inspired by [this prompt](twitter.com/promptcentral/status/757861393878118400) by promptcentral. Thank you, promptcentral, for breaking my heart with this prompt.
> 
> I know it's not even close to Christmas, but hey. The prompt called for snow.

_There had been snow falling down, little flakes of white that landed softly on flushed cheeks. Everything had been covered in white, and only the streetlights had lent a soft glow to keep the darkness at bay. The silence of the late hour had been broken only by the distant sound of cars from several blocks away._

_“I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you,” he could remember Chanyeol saying. His deep rumbling voice had been unusually shy, still getting used to being able to voice out his feelings without fear._

_“I love you too,” Baekhyun had replied, giddy with the thrill of being able to say it._

_Chanyeol had given him a grin, bright and happy, putting his hands in his coat pockets to keep them warm._

_He hadn’t looked at the street before he crossed, walking backward to keep his eyes on Baekhyun, and Baekhyun would forever remember that, would remember how the sudden bright lights of the oncoming car had shone on his face, would forever remember how his eyes had widened before his whole face had contorted in pain. He would forever remember the screeching of tires against damp pavement, the smell of burnt rubber, the bright splash of red against pristine white snow._

“Remember, Yeol? It snowed the day you said you loved me,” Baekhyun said as he knelt in front of a grave, his tears soaking into the snow-covered ground of the graveyard. His sobs mixed with the sound of church bells ringing for Christmas.

“It’s been a year and I still miss you so, so much.”

 

 

_It also snowed on the day he left._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title was from EXO's song On the Snow. Totally different vibes, but blood on snow, so on the snow.


	2. Fading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw another [prompt](twitter.com/promptcentral/status/796424565438218245) and added another chapter. promptcentral's effect on me.

Baekhyun used to love summer. It meant freedom from school, family days at the beach, hanging out with his friends and meeting new people. Summer used to be his favorite season.

He hated it now, though.

He hated it, because summer meant no school, no distractions from the monochrome of his thoughts. It meant more concernened glances from his family. Worst of all, summer reminded him that Chanyeol was no longer by his side, no longer there to laugh at his jokes, to go to the beach with him, or help him carry groceries back through the sweltering heat. Chanyeol was no longer with him to share gossip about the new people they met.

Still, Baekhyun tried to cope. Chanyeol had been gone for more than a year  now, and Baekhyun knew that his family and friends were growing more and more concerned. He knew also that Chanyeol wouldn't want him to mope.

"So I crashed into this guy at the mall the other day," he said as he sat beside the tombstone. It was a perfect summer day, full of sunshine and a summer breeze that carried the smell of flowers. "Ended up spilling my drink all over the both of us. Remember in third year, when you tripped and your milk when flying everywhere? It was kinda like that, except it was orange juice. Anyway, he looked a bit like you did then too, if I remember right." His voice faded off, and he stared into the distance for a while without speaking.

"I keep trying to think of how you looked back then. I try to remember how you laughed, how you looked whenever you smiled, the sound of your voice when you laugh." His hands clenced on the blades of grass beneath him. His chest felt tight, and his vision was starting to blur.

"I try to remember, Yeol. I think about you everyday, still, but I can't even remember your face when you told me you loved me," he sobbed. He curled into a ball, trying to keep himself from falling apart. It felt like he would fly into a thousand pieces at any moment.

"I'm scared, because every time I close my eyes, it's getting harder and harder to remember you." The wind toyed with his hair, almost like a lover's comforting caress.

"I don't want to forget you."

Only silence answered him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tuzitokki), [AFF](https://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/1217835) and [Ask.fm](https://ask.fm/AngelusSuho)


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